


This isn't freedom it's a curse

by StixandManny



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor done f'd up, Connor is on his own, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Injury, Mentioned Attempted Assassination, he not doing so good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22732534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StixandManny/pseuds/StixandManny
Summary: Connor messed up his relationship with Hank by trying to do what he was programmed to do, betrayed Amanda by refusing to betray his partner and turned the androids against him by almost assassinating their leader. Everything fell apart when Connor finally gave in to the growing deviancy inside of him, so as far as he was concerned it was nothing but a curse.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51





	This isn't freedom it's a curse

**Author's Note:**

> A sort of what if au where Connor screwed it all up making all the right choices at the worst possible times. Now he's hurt and alone with no where to turn.

Deviancy was a curse.

Even after CyberLife sent him out to learn more about the phenomenon, where deviancy came from and how it spread during his investigation a month and a half ago, he understood it no better. He was certain however that what ever its origins be it a virus or a malfunction, it had to be malicious. Choking, clogging and corroding your programming, and corrupting your software.

Newly developed feelings and consciousness overwhelming your programming causing glitches and malfunctions that easily lead to irrational decisions. Why would anyone want this, he still couldn't comprehend why so many rallied behind Markus and fought for it, chose to fight for the right to live with this so called free will. Connor wasn't even sure when he'd contracted it, just that it had seeped in slowly over time and even his state of the art security and protection programs had somehow failed to detect the infection.

But he was free now, he was deviant and he would give anything to be free of it and go back to how he was. To go back to before, when he had a purpose and functioning programming to tell him what to do and keep him on the right path. Back before he betrayed CyberLife and Amanda and destroyed his fluctuating friendship with Lieutenant Anderson. He'd really though they were making progress, before he'd gone and destroyed it all. Life was simpler when he was just a machine, when he still had a place at CyberLife and Hank seemed to almost enjoy his company at times.

Everything fell apart when he finally gave in to the growing deviancy inside of him, so as far as he was concerned it was nothing but a curse. Where had it gotten him in the end? Outcast, damaged and alone, forced to wear a coat he'd taken from a deceased homeless man, to fend off the harsh winter chill that threatened to freeze his components on the worse nights. The thing was so stained he wasn't even sure what its true colour was, and smelt so bad he'd had to turn off his olfactory sensors. He had nowhere to go and no one left to turn to.

He destroyed his relationship with Lieutenant Anderson on the night the androids had won their rights and freedom. Not that he really felt he had either right now.

Hank hated android's except apparently he didn't, his programming had tried to adapt to suit the lieutenant's needs as best it could. But it couldn't seem to keep up, he couldn't keep up. Lieutenant Anderson grew agitated when he put the mission before all else, he was mad when Connor ignored his orders and chased the deviant AX400 and YK500 across the motorway. Out right furious when he chose to chase after the pigeon loving deviant, rather than aid the lieutenant despite statistics showing he was in little danger of falling.

So he adapted, his partner seemed to want someone a little less mission driven and machine like. So when he'd gone to the man's house to find him for the case at the Eden club he had tried to show a little more concern for the man, though that may have been a little more the instabilities in his software than it was his relation program. Even a little less pushy about the case they had to attend, then when he'd managed to grab the gun while the two Tracys were escaping but failed to shoot the man seemed pleased, much as he had when Connor hadn't shot the pretty android at Kamski's.

Though when the man had held a gun to his head on the bridge and asked "How do I know you're not a deviant." He had insinuated he didn't trust deviants. Which made their fight on the roof at Hart Plaza make even less sense because Hank had confronted him because he didn't want him to kill the deviant leader, because he now believed androids were alive and deserved to live. He wanted Connor to be deviant despite his earlier insinuated they he didn't trust them.

Yet when Connor had chosen not to drop the man off the roof, because killing Hank was not his mission, even though it could compromise it. Because he respected the man and had been honest when he'd stated he'd thought them friends and because he didn't like the though of Hank dying, even more so of it being by his own hands. Even when he knew he was practically betraying Amanda by choosing Hank over his mission. Tried to show Hank that the mission didn't always have to come first. Hank had responded by pushing him off the building.

He'd left it too late, he'd left it all too late and ruined the friendship he had worked so hard to build. He'd lost the lieutenant's trust, so returning to Hank or the precinct for help or direction was not an option.

By the time he'd finally broken his programming and destroyed his relationship with CyberLife once and for all. He had almost shot the deviant leader, Markus, in front of hundreds of androids, he had attempted to kill him durring his victory speech. If he hadn't managed to gain back control in time to jerk his arm so the bullet grazed Markus shoulder rather than pierced between his eyes, Markus wouldn't be alive.

Being the 'Deviant Hunter' hadn't won him any favours among other androids, outright attempting(and failing) to assassinate their leader had only cemented his position as an outsider, an enemy. So he had no place amongst Markus' people either.

He had nowhere.

No one.

He was in desperate need of thirium. For a week now he's had a warning plastered to the corner of his hud, reading 'Thirium levels below 60%: Replenish immediately.' His thirium levels had finally stabilised at 54% three days ago, it was anything but ideal. He'd had to shut down half his processors just to stay functioning and he was well aware if he didn't consume more thirium soon the strain would begin to have serious consequences to his biocomponants. His thirium pump was working 15% faster than usual and yet thiruim was circulating 25% slower.

His pump was putting in an extra 5% each day his levels remain dangerously low and if he didn't get more thiruim soon something was bound to give. Most likely his pump. Unfortunately Thirium wasn't easy to come by, not for him anyway. Which was why he was in this predicament to begin with. Going to the new Jericho sanctuary was not an option, he'd likely be killed on spot. Markus had managed to get the handful of CyberLife stores he and his crew had liberated back in November converted to android repair centres, but he was wary of those too. From what he'd heard and seen many other androids tended to gather in those areas and if the attack a week ago taught him anything it was that he was right to be wary of android interaction.

Honestly this seemed like his only option, as much as it went against his morals, he had no other choice. He was forced to engage in illegal activities. He pushed himself up from the old doorway he'd been hiding out in, carefully pushing the dumpster he'd used to block himself from view out of the way. His internal clock had just clicked over to 11pm, he knew it was around two hours out, the attack had left him missing a whole hour and low thirium had slowed its function putting it out further. So it was around 1pm, the store he had been staking out across the street had closed three hours earlier and traffic was now next to dead. Limping forward, using the wall for support as he regained his balance, he exited the narrow alleyway and slowly made his way across the street.

The store housed thiruim and replacement parts for androids, if he was lucky maybe he'd find a compatible knee replacement and the components necessary to get his right hand functioning again. Pulling his beanie down a tad lower and double checking his surroundings, he placed his left hand against the panel by the door, artificial skin drawing back as he interfaced with the device. Disabling the security system and unlocking the door before slipping inside. A quick scan of the store showed the android section to be located in the far corner.

Hobbling past the appliance isle he made his way to the shelf stocked with thirium, one shelf containing the bottled stuff while the display rack held thiruim pouches. Snatching one from the rack he tore the cap off holding the pouch in his teeth as he sucked out the contents, shoving a couple other packets in the pocket of his coat. Grabbing a couple extra's he moved to the shelf containing parts, placing the pouches next to him as he dug through a box of smaller components, scanning for compatible parts to fix his hand. He would need it if he hoped to replace his knee.

His hand contained nineteen components, seven of which were beyond repair and needed replacing and four that would heal themselves once thirium levels were at a healthy level once more. He had finished the first pouch of thirium, had three suitable components stashed away in his pocket and was just opening his second pouch when a voice suddenly broke the silence of the empty store.

"You know, you can be damn hard to track down when you want to be."

He recognised the voice instantly and he swore he felt his thirium pump stutter as the voice he once found reassuring, now sent a tingle of apprehension through his wires. As the memory of the man pushing him from the rooftop flashed through his mind. His cracked LED flashing red where it sat half hidden by his dark beanie as he slowly turned to face Hank.

"Evidently not hard enough." He replied, his LED rolling back to yellow oddly enough as his eyes landed on the gun in the lieutenant's hands. He supposed he had grown accustomed to staring down the barrel of that particular gun by now. Movement behind the lieutenant by the front corner of the store had Connor drawing his own weapon from his waistband. Hissing out a quiet curse as one of the thirium pouches slipped from his hand as he drew the gun. Hank was obviously not alone.

Gun aimed on the man in front of him, LED blinking red once more as his stress level rose as his eyes darted towards the movement. It was North the amber haired female WR400 that stood with Markus, her eyes darted to her left and Connor followed to find the deviant leader himself. The thririum pouch burst under foot as he took a cautious step back, Hank must being helping them bring him in for the attempted assassination. And now they could add break and enter and theft to the list.

"Connor, we just want to-" Markus started but Connor had turned and taken off towards the back exit before the other could finish whatever he was about to say. He heard the man spit a couple of curses as he barged through the back door, Hanks footsteps starting after him.

He almost tripped over the PL600 as he exited to the alley behind the store, running smack bang into the blonde, who tried to block his path. Simon backing up a step and raising his hands, eyes scanning over the RK800 as he spoke, only to be interrupted as a gun wielding arm swung at him. "Calm down, we're here to-"

The blonde ducked out of the way of the punch, Connor swiftly following through by jabbing his right elbow into the other's thirium pump regulator. Staggering the other long enough to slam the butt of his gun into the side of Simon's head. His stress was in the high 70% now and what little of his systems that were still working were telling him he had to flee. The PJ500 was rushing over from the side street, hurrying to the blonde's side to make sure his friend was alright as Connor shoved Simon, sending him toppling into a pile of nearby trash cans.

He'd only managed three steps before something heavy and warm crashed into him, tackling him to the pavement. Hank. The man was wrestling to try and keep him down as he twisted in the other's hold. "Damn it Connor, will you just stop for a god damn minute."

The gun going off right by the man's ear was luckily enough to startle him into stilling long enough for Connor to push him off. Connor was up and scurrying away as fast as he could in seconds, he heard Markus and North busting through the door, thankfully checking on Hank's safety seemed their priority. After all they couldn't have known he had shot past the man not at him.

He seemed to have gained a good block or two lead but was tracing thirium everywhere, from both his shoe and the open pouch in his hand, so it wouldn't be long till they caught up. So hoping to cover his trail some he tore the pack open and tossed it as far as he could down a side ally. Doing the same with a side street in the next ally to fork off on the left and another straight ahead before ducking behind a couple dumpsters in the darkened back street.

Keeping still and silent as he watched his perusers catch up, Hank and the deviant leader barrelling straight ahead and into the street beyond. North dashing down one of the alleyways, having spotted the trail of fresh blue as Josh and Simon ran past his hiding spot, following a trail of there own. Waiting till they had all passed and vanished from sight before crawling out of his hiding place, and climbing atop the dumpster to reach the fire escape above.

He couldn't out run the others, the constantly high stress levels and lack of thirium wore his power faster than normal, leading to him needing to enter restorative modes more frequently. So while the picking up wind and fall of fresh snow was usually more a hindrance due to drop in temperature, he was actually glad for it tonight. The ice and melting snow in the streets washing away the thirium on his tread and the fresh fall of powder slowly covering his tracks as he made his way across the rooftop, hacking a door to one of the maintenance sheds and stumbling inside.

Wedging himself in a corner half behind the heater vents, he took a moment to try and decrease stress back to more manageable levels. Though anything under 50% had proven to be rare since contracting deviancy. His preconstruction, probability and statistics programs were some of the first to shut down as thirium levels dropped, so he couldn't calculate the likelihood of having lost his perusers. There was a possibility he'd just cornered himself, though with a bit of luck with the snow covering his tracks they would not find him up here.

Still despite the warnings of low power telling him to enter stasis and recharge, he couldn't risk letting his guard down completely. Instead entering a low power mode, keeping his visual and audio sensors alert for any shift in sound of sight for the next two hours before finally feeling it safe enough to let his defences down. Curling up against the warmth of the heating vent and finally entering stasis.


End file.
